dear sadjournal

Me and my brother are both on the internet in different rooms, and the house is totally silent except for every once and a while one of us with break out into bursts of nervous giggling because we both want to kill ourselves.

I hate everything and Wordpress blows and to make it look like how I want I have basically comepletely learn CSS which is confusing the hell out of me, and I thought this was supposed to be websites for dummies. Christ! I have to see the cookie lady again tomorrow and I would rather die.

SOOOO

I talked to my mom when she got home from work and she admitted that the trip thing was a little crazy. So I guess we're not going? Now she wants to go to Niagra Falls for Christmas. This I can't wait for.

Just now I went to the post office where I mailed 8 orders from my etsy, which was fun. I'm not really making any money on this, but it's still exciting. Today I mailed a book to Australia and 2 to Denmark. Twice people have asked me to sign them before I send them, and I hate that because I think it ruins them. Also I don't know what to say so I'm just like H.A.G.S.

Also some guy who bought a Dating book had this really corporate sounding mailing address, so I googled it and it was the address for the headquarters of Zappos.com. Haaaaaaah! Thanks for the shoes, man.

I think I'm gonna go to Pittsburg on Dec 11 b.c Carnegie Mellon has a visitors day and I can see if this place is worth being a goal. Road trip.

I have so much to do tonight. I came to the library to work on it and I brought a book on tape but I forgot head phones. GODDDDDDDDD.

Frriiiickk! I basically just lost 80 bucks. This girl at work mass emailed for someone to pick up her shift yesterday, and I emailed her one back saying I would take it, but then she never confirmed, and didn't call me back after I left her a message on her cell, so I figured someone had beat me to because it was one of the 18$/hour shifts. And I didn't go in. But then it turns out that she didn't go in either and she thought I had it.

MAJOR BUMMER. Now I can make a list of all the things I would have bought with that 80$, and then not buy it.

I'm going on a crazy road trip with my mom on thursday. She came over to me yesterday and out of the blue and said, "Do you want to go to Atlanta?" And I said, "What?" We don't know anyone in Atlanta btw.

She thinks I'm running away at any second and since I'm not working this weekend she really wants to take a trip. I didn't really want to drive to Atlanta so she was like, OK how about Baltimore? That is a COOL TOWN.

So I said OK and now I have to figure out what the hell to do in Baltimore. She also wants to stop in Pittsburg bc she knows that's where my dream grad school is, but it's Thanksgiving weekend it's not like I can visit the school.

Anyway now she's really excited about the trip and has been sending me texts about it asking about what we should do and I have no idea.

I'm finally sad enough to start watching Heroes.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAN.

This is the worst. Best.

BEST.

Abby's really depressed right now.

I'm kind of really depressed right now.

I've been working on this picture of a baby eating a poop. For an hour.

Does anyone know if you can use multiple forever stamps to equal like, say, $1.05 in postage? Or are they only for single use on letters?

The best thing I can think of to do tomorrow is to manually unclog every single one of my pores, by squeezing them individually. I would rate that day as probably about an 8 out of 10.

I'm eating plain bread in the ccs basement. MMMMM.

Today at the DIA we were making paper dolls in the workshop. Every time a family with boys come in and they see paper dolls the parents are always uh oh now are we gonna get our macho boy to do THIS project. But I just give them a big sneaky wink and say DON'T WORRY because pretty much every kid under 10 is just like, "sweet sequins, LATER MOM AND DAD."

Fuck I've had this room to myself forever and my mega video time limit was almost up and now some girl is in here. Dang it.

Also what is the deal with CS4? What's content aware scaling supposed to be? Bogus.

OH GOOD SHE LEFT phew.

I just got a call from a Fort Lauderdale FL number (thanks reverse phone) that was just super loud club music so I hung up. A few minutes later they called back and some super loud drunk guy was like, HEY! YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D REMEMBER?

And I was like what?

YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D REMEMBER, DID YOU?

Remember what?

YOUR PHONE NUMBER! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I told him sorry wrong number and he said "Oh" sounding REALLY sad.

Also I updated my art blog every day for the past 4 days. I'm going to try and update it everyday until.I don't anymore. http://www.nikkidesautelle.com

My brother is moving into the Wayne State dorms today. Because he doesn't have a car anymore to commute. I'm gonna leave to go drop him off there in a coupla minutes. WEIRD.


Here's some comedy.

Today I went to this cookie show at Somerset Mall, it was called Cookies n' Dreams and it's a fundraiser for Mak-A-Wish. You paid 60$ and then you went in all these bakeries had treats for you to eat as much as you wanted. And then you voted on which was best. I was on the guestlist because I've been doing some illustration work for a local cookie company called Cookie Cool. I have never actually eaten a Cookie Cool cookie however, and tonight I got there about an hour after the thing started, and all the Cookie Cool cookies were gone. SHOOT! Anyway, we're working on some secret projects but here's a label I made. It's 1 inch square.



I just wrote cookie 300 times. I ate a ton there. I don't even really like sweets so after 2 things I started to feel sick. Also they had free hot dogs so I ate some of those. Also everything there was written in comic sans.

THEN. I've spent the last 5 hours working on this really awesome shark costume for Alaina. It's almost done, probably another couple hours tomorrow. It's gonna look really good. I like how I will spend all this energy on this, but for my own costume I spent 5 minutes and $1.20 at the thrift store. WELL at least I am getting in the halloween spirit SOMEHOW.

Here's some in prog shots. I realized like halfway through that I was being influenced by the costume from Eagle vs. Shark. But it's not really a shark costume, it's an Alaina being eaten by a shark costume.





OK well I'm tired.

I bought this boursin cheese from Trader Joe's and I am eating it like it's my job. It's sooooo good. My mom buys tons of these really gross wheat crackers but when they combine with the bousin it's like I'm eating cracker heaven.

I threw my budget to the wind today and bought a SUPER cute dress at lost and found vintage, except its main cuteness is its backlessness and how great it makes my legs/ass look. So it's pretty much useless until next spring. Whoops whatever.

I haven't seen my family in about a week, on purpose. I leave before they come home from work/school and come home right when they are going to bed. I love them and everything, but I gotta get outta here.

I watched Road Warriors a couple days ago, and since I'm in my car a lot lately I'm always yelling GIVE ME THE OIL and GIVE ME THE GAZOLINE because I am Lord Humungus and my car is a parade float from murdertown and it likes gazoline A LOT. I'm pretty sure yelling improves the MPG.

I booked a hostel for San Francisco today, and reading the reviews of various different places was like: bed bugs, bed bugs, bed bugs, bed bugs, NO MENTION OF BED BUGS? BOOKED.

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

I'm in a fancy 3rd floor computer lab at CCS, waiting for a security guard to come in here and kick me out. Because I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed in here. The door was locked, but the latch didn't catch so I was able to get in. So hopefully the guard won't look and see me. For at least a little while.

These computers are really friggin nice.

Today I went to get my haircut at the beauty school. I tried to dress cool and put on makeup so they would take me seriously and give me a cool person haircut. It worked kind of. The cut is better than last time anyway. I was in there for over 2 hours. I got a parking ticket. It took her seriously an hour to blow dry my hair, because she was using a tiny baby brush and drying little baby sections at a time, and then when it was dry finally I asked her to texturize it but her heart was not in it. So actually my hair kind of looks the same.

I was gonna go to the Renaissance Festival tomorrow but the weather is gonna be shitty so I'm not.

LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE.

Today I went to Grand Rapids to check out Art Prize with Chelsea. It was pretty cool, there was some good art and some terrible art. The cool thing was there was art everywhere, outside and inside, and the outside things made the city look pretty magical. It was a really good way to see Grand Rapids, everything looked really nice and it was a good excuse to walk into a bunch of different buildings that I wouldn't have ever have gone into. The best thing about Art prize is you can vote a "thumbs up" for art you liked, but you can also vote a "thumbs down" for art you didn't like. I voted some thumbs downs just now, but then I ran out of time because the cut off for online voting was midnight.

I'm really wanting to see who wins. It's probably going to be something that is totally stupid and doesn't deserve to win at all. The grand prize is $250,000 and that is a ton of money. You can view the top 25 on the website and a lot of them aren't great.

On the way back I was just about to drop Chelsea off at home and the "check oil" light came on in my car. Apparently my car eats oil like nom nom candy and when the light comes on I just gotta pull over and give it more. So we went to a Speedway and I did the thing where you pull out the dipstick and look at it, even though I don't really know how to read it, and anyway the one on the murder mobile is at a terrible angle and all the oil gets scraped off it when I pull it out. Also it didn't even matter what it said because the only thing I know how to do to a car is put gas in it and put oil in it. SO ANYWAY I put some oil in and Chelsea helped. While we were hanging out by my car's open hood two separate old guys came over and asked if we needed help and I said, "No, we got it" because I knew we could handle it, and then we handled it. And it made me feel really empowered because I can handle stupid things like a car needing more oil.

I really like the 80's.

Oh my god I love the 80's!

Really? Like what?

Oh, I don't know. Like...

You don't like the 80's. You're not an 80's person.

Well, what kind of stuff is it?

I can't explain, I'll just show you.

No, really, what's it like?

I don't know, it's like neon and parties and stuff.

Oh. I like the 70's.

Apparently my sentence structure has been falling apart.

Criminal Minds started up again last night. It's still great but it makes me miss C7 and Andy and Kit. This episode was a roller coaster. Like 3 episodes in one. Spoiler alert, Hotch survived. And everyone has broken legs this season.

I mailed out 3 ghost books today, to strangers. I am 3 dollars richer.

My mom just brought home a six pack of wine. Disapproving daughter is disapproving.

Now that my brother is at school all day I feel SUPER pathetic at home alone all week. I made a list of things to do for the first time since school got out. Partly to make myself feel like an actual person with things to do, and partly because I secretly am. I need to get ready for my trip and I got to figure out how to make it productive. HUUUH.

I want to go to Chronicle and hand in my application portfolio for their fellowship in person, but I don't want to be a creep and I don't know how to ask. My mom told me to write them an email like a salesman. In the email I am a creep. I haven't sent it yet.

Also I think I'm going to redo Dating Advice so it is 5.5 square and I can print and bind it myself. I started doing that but it made me want to redo it completely because it's still funny to me but it doesn't really look that great.

There are these really gross piles of bugs that keep happening on our back porch. I don't know what is going on. We vacuum them up and then they come back the next day. It is the most disgusting thing and we don't know what is going on. I asked Abby if she would battle for our souls when Beelzebub breaks free from Hell, and in reply she just layed there and didn't look at me. Abby wont even play with me before 1 oclock. She just sleeps on the couch.

I'm listening to an audio of Born Standing Up by Steve Martin on CD. It's serious.

Pizza Hut hasn't hired me yet.

But I picked up 2 extra shifts at the DIA this weekend so that's good. I'm the only one there who doesn't have a real person's job during the week, so if anyone even thinks about calling off, I hoard their shift like crazy.

Today the mailman caught me yelling at Abby that I was a murderer. (ABBY I'M A MURDERER). Basically, every time we get a package delivered the mailman is guaranteed to hear me yelling something, because I am alone in the house all day all week and I am always yelling.

I'm thinking of doing Couch Surfing for my west coast adventure. But it a little bit sounds horrible. But it would save me about 250 bucks. And maybe be cool?

Also, on Saturday, I'm doing this 30 mile bike ride in Detroit with my Dad and my brother, and it's going to be the worst day of my life!! I'm really not prepared. At all. Joey and I were supposed to train for it, but, unless you count all the times we biked the 5 miles to down town Rochester to eat donuts at Knapps this summer, we didn't train. And personally, the donuts are the only way I am able to make it the 5 miles back home. So, 10 miles, with a donut break in between. To my knowledge, I can't comfortably go much farther than that.

Today I was at the Y, "training." I went like 3 miles on this bike VIDEO GAME they have, which is the weirdest thing ever. It's an exercise bike with a TV screen on it and on the screen it's just like those racecar driving games, except it's a bike, with handle bars at the bottom of the screen, with other 3d animated bike "racers," and you have to actually pedal to make it go. And also you have to move the handle bars to steer around the track. And they have different tracks you can go on, like a forest, or wild west. Then I spent a half hour on the sitting down bike watching The Office.

Joey and I are going to stock up on Power Bars and have a Power Bar taste test tomorrow. I really like the idea of eating Power Bars, IN THEORY of course, because I have never done it in real life. In my imagination they taste terrible but imbue me with godlike strength moments after ingestion, and I will leave a trail of wrappers all throughout the city of Detroit on Saturday.

There's going to be so many REAL COOL bikers with bicycle outfits and everything. I don't even have anything to wear. Ratty shorts and sweatshirt I guess. Also, I have to wear a helmet, like a NERD, because it's mandatory. I keep forgetting to check if I even have one.

WELL regardless of the fact that I'm going to be DEAD before I make it to the end, I'm still really excited. For the part I will be alive for.

I just booked the tickets for my trip! I'm taking planes and trains. I found some good bargains on Expedia, so suck it Kirk and Roaming Gnome. I'm going to San Francisco for 4 days, Seattle for 2 days, and Portland for 2 days, leaving the morning of October 14, and getting back late the 22nd.

Trip planning is stressful but I'm super excited from all the online purchasing adrenaline. You guys, a one way ticket to Portland is 108 dollars INCLUDING taxes. WHAT A DEAL. Everything started a little bit falling apart when the flight to San Francisco that I was eyeballing jumped up a 100 bucks in like half an hour. But I found another one so it's OK.

I still have to pick out hostels but I don't feel like reading 80 hundred pages of reviews scanning for any mention of bugs right now. Later.

WHOOPTY DOOPTY, YOU'EM GENIUS.